Have you ever heard of emotional hangover?

I actually thought I invented that term myself. 😀 emotional hangover. After a quick googling turned out that one form of social anxiety is often called emotional hangover or social hangover. (urban dictonary)

So here’s what happened this week..

After the boy’s birthday party I was happy. I wrote a blog post and told my husband that for once I felt good when thinking about that party. Everything had gone well. Everyone enjoyed themselves and I can easily forgive myself the little errors that happened. But the next day it hit me again.

Why did I serve those pastries that didn’t have enough filling? One cake was not moist enough and the paw patrol cake was ugly. The home made juice that I served for the kids was not good enough. Some people had to come to the kitchen to ask for more coffee and I didn’t notice immediately that coffee milk had finished. They must think that I’m a horrible host. I failed my son.

That really is how felt. Now it seems ridiculous. But I cried for two days over this.

It didn’t help that the boy seemed to love the party and kept talking about it in awe. That my husband said that guests did like the cakes and everything. He also said that no matter what they would have said I would have turned it into a negative. You know the “they didn’t really mean it” argument. At the end he said that I have been like this as long as he can remember. I didn’t understand. The boy turned three. We hadn’t had that many children’s parties. But…

We met when I was a freshman in the university. That year involved lots of student parties. Every time the morning after was horrible. Sometimes in a physical way but every time in an emotional way. Did I do something stupid? Did I say something stupid? They must have understood me wrong. Why did I have to say something to someone? Next time I’ll stay silent.

I started to stay more quiet. I stopped using alcohol. Friends started to talk behind my back and laugh at me about that. I started to hear rumors. What kind of freshman doesn’t drink and party? Someone even told me I was nicer when I was drunk. Eventually I stopped going to parties.

One character of phobia is that it affects your everyday life. Controls your choices.

Well, I didn’t go to student parties, I haven’t celebrated my birthdays (even when I turned 30), my graduations (I have two higher degrees) or had any house warming parties. I didn’t want to have a farewell party at work when I started my maternity leave. Actually, we even got married abroad and one reason was to avoid having a party. Avoid being the center of attention.

Now that I have kids I have to organize parties. I can’t get around it. And I do love it. That’s why this feels so contradictory. BEFORE the party I’m excited and happy and love the planning and doing part of it but AFTER the party I feel devastated. Even if all the guests are close friends and family members. Even if I told myself that if all my nightmares came true they still wouldn’t leave me.

What’s going on? Do I have some sort of party phobia? That would be a weird one. 😀 Now that I finally noticed this pattern I have to start working with it. I don’t know how yet but I’ll figure out something.

If anyone has experienced anything like this or has any tips, I would be happy to hear them!

Mannamaria

WPC: Earth

This week I wanted to share with you some of my favorite homeland destinations. Places where I keep returning again and again. Pristine nature. Peaceful, quiet and very beautiful.

Enjoy!

Mannamaria

WPC

213Kuusamo, Finland

256
Kuusamo, Finland

DSC_0106
Koli, Finland

DSC_0102Turku Archipelago, Finland

DSC_0034Turku Archipelago, Finland

DSC_0067
Turku Archipelago, Finland

112Padasjoki, Finland

119
Ruka, Finland

246
Tohmajärvi, Finland

151
Helsinki, Finland

096
Turku, Finland

Could Santa Claus Come to My Birthday Party?

Last weekend we celebrated our three year old little man. He was so excited about the party that he hardly slept the night before and didn’t take his nap on the day of the party. Even so, he welcomed every guest cheerfully and was such a good host.  He had had three wishes for the party:

Gift? – a car with a bow
To eat? – cake and only cake
Guests? – Santa Claus

He had wished Santa Claus already to twins’ christening and was a little disappointed that only priest came to that event. This time we didn’t get Santa Claus but fulfilled the other wishes. He did get a lot of presents so I don’t think he remembered to miss Santa that much.

He is a big fan of Paw Patrol hence I made a little decorating. I found these free printables from Nickelodeon: birthday banner, stickers, cupcake toppers (no affiliate) Especially the birthday banner was really nice and many people asked were I had bought it. There would have been so much more to print but our guests were mainly adults so maybe next year I’ll do more.

Being very tired with the twins I was grateful that our nanny did all the baking for the party and I didn’t have to stress about that.

The boy already had so many cars that I didn’t believe that he would possibly be happy to get more, but after receiving 13 new cars the grin on his face was wider than ever. He hasn’t left them for a minute. And during the past days, I haven’t heard even once “can I use iPad?”. He took one of the cars to bed as a bedtime toy and the first thing he told me this morning was “mommy, when I opened my eyes I saw this car and started to play with it right away”.

He really likes cars.

Here are some photos of the party. 🙂

Have a nice day!

Mannamaria

The boy who loves big machines and our trip to see them

Last week the boy had two big events. First, we went to see big machines, and on weekend he had his birthday party.

My boy loves all kinds of vehicles. Ambulances, fire trucks, buses, garbage trucks, tractors, sweepers, diggers, dump trucks, you name it. If we see some interesting vehicle while walking somewhere we have to stop to watch it go.

That’s why he was extremely excited to go see the big machines to a nearby vehicle depot. The trip was organized by an employee of a local playground and lots of enthusiastic children participated.

The workers were there to answer questions and lift kids up to sit inside the vehicles. My son is a bit timid and he only wanted to go sit in one small tractor. First he didn’t want to go even there but finally he was unbelievably happy when he found the courage to do so. Eventually we were last ones to leave the site since he didn’t want to leave the tractor!

For him, this trip was better than any amusement park. A real dreamland. He ran around from one vehicle to another and asked me all kinds of questions but was too shy to talk to the workers or let me talk to them.

The only thing was that it was really cold. This spring has been really cold. The workers at the site said that they still haven’t been able to wash the streets because the temperature drops below zero at night and the water they spray would freeze in the morning and make the streets slippery. The end of the week was warmer and I hope that it gets better now.

What is your children’s favorite attraction for a visit?

Have a lovely week!

Mannamaria

You are enough

I feel like the universe is giving me a pep talk this week. 🙂

I ordered something from a web store. As a gift they sent me this notebook. Another important reminder.

You are enough. 

Have a nice day!

Mannamaria



  This notebook is designed by LuKLabel (no affiliate link, just a cool webshop)

Share your world

This week I heard about this challenge from Cee’s photography. It sounded like a lots of fun so I decided to take part.

When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?

I always use pen. I haven’t used pencil after graduating from the uni. But to be honest most often I use colorful stabilos and black finepens. 🙂

Would you rather be an amazing dancer or an amazing singer?

Singer! As a child I sang in a choir. I loved it but I was not very good. In a certain age I had to stop going there since they didn’t accept poor singing anymore. 😀

If you were on a debate team, what subject would you relish debating?

I’m horrible at debating. When debating you have to think fast and I’m not good at that. But in a debate that seems very black and white I’m good at pointing the other colors.

What are you a “natural” at doing?

Organizing and arranging. And being with kids.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

I’m grateful that we finally found a way to ease the baby’s stomach problems, that we got some rest, met lovely new people and found strength to do some fun holiday activities with the older boy.

I’m looking forward to having better weather, organizing a birthday party for the boy and having a nice party.

Thank you for this nice challenge!

Mannamaria

Be kind. Always.

You know the quote “everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” I have been thinking about it a lot for the past days.

Last week I was tired. Very tired. I hardly left the house for many days. I was happy about the Easter holidays and getting the husband home for a couple of days.

It was weird since the crying of our baby boy (that story here) had stopped many days before and our evenings were calmer than in a long time. It felt a little like the calmer evenings welcomed the tiredness. I was exhausted.

Anyway on the Easter Sunday I went for a walk by myself. In the shopping center all stores were open (weird!) but this time I went there only to get some homeopatic medicine. When I was leaving the store the salesperson said “hang in there, soon it will get easier”. I nearly burst into tears. I really needed to hear that. I wanted to give her a hug. How nice of her!

Then I went to try a new restaurant nearby. They were having a Sunday brunch but since I was alone I asked for just a cup of coffee. “This one is on the house” said the waiter as he brought the coffee to me. He really made me smile. Thank you for being so nice to me! That was probably the first time ever I’ve got something for free here in Finland. People just don’t do it.

Those two persons really changed my whole mood. They were kind in a moment when I really needed it even if they didn’t know it and they didn’t have to. I’m grateful for them. I have to remember being kind myself even more in the future.

After that I noticed that the sun was shining, the babies didn’t cry but babbled and we left for a nice family gathering.

I’ve been smiling ever since.

Have a lovely week!

Mannamaria