There I lied in the doctor’s office.
“Are you sure?”
“We have to wait until week 12 to see if they both make it but at the moment I can see two heart beats.”
It was midsummer 2016. A sunny and a beautiful day. I had gone to the doctor’s to hear the bad news. To hear that I had miscarried. Again. All the symptoms referred to that.
I had wanted to face the news by myself so after the shocking news I quickly messaged the husband: “everything ok x2”.
“We have to buy a bigger car!”
Not even in our wildest dreams had we believed that we could have twins. I had said it out loud though. That I would like to have twins. And now my husband could say you should be careful with what you wish for. It really can come true.
After the doctor’s we met with the husband at a restaurant. We kept spluttering and could not have a real conversation. We just kept repeating phrases like “is this really happening?”, “how is this possible?”, “we need to buy so much stuff”, “we really need a bigger car” and “ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod”.
Thinking back that day I’m smiling. We were excited and terrified. Happy and nervous. Already planning the life with them but at the same time worried that we might lose the other one or both of them.
And here they are. Three months old. Our bundles of joy. Wonderful surprises.
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