With Easier Life Comes Lousier Blog

You may have noticed that I haven’t been fully present here in the blogosphere during the past weeks. It’s because I’ve noticed something that I didn’t expect: When my life gets easier after the colic time, I don’t seem to find time to update this blog. It feels strange. I didn’t think it would go like this. Not have time for updates when I have more time. 

People always asked me how I had time to start a new blog when I had newborn twins.

Let me explain you.

When the twins were born our world turned upside down. Everything I thought I knew about taking care of babies went out of the window. We felt like we were thrown into a merry-go-round that was spinning too fast and we were trying to hold on to it the best we could. The babies had our attention from the moment we opened our eyes in the morning until we closed them in the evening.

We had to leave our hobbies and everything extra that took time from taking care of the babies. Since the other baby had colic it meant that either me or my husband walked around carrying the crying baby and the other one took care of the other baby and the toddler.

So what did I do?

When I walked around with the crying baby I thought about this blog and my next post. How should I start it? What about the ending? Which photos I would use? Anyone with colic baby knows that there is absolutely nothing you can do to calm the baby. All you can do is be close to him and let him know that he’s not alone. I was physically close to him but my mind was somewhere else. It escaped to this blog.

In the evening when all the kids were sleeping I sat down to my computer and wrote the text. The writing was quick since I had thought it through before. Sometimes I fell asleep myself while I was putting the kids to bed but then I wrote the text the next day. I didn’t worry about it.

Many of the texts turned out bright and happy. Even if I was exhausted I often wanted to write something positive. I didn’t want to be stuck in that exhaustion. But often I also let it show through. I didn’t want to be fake.

I’m grateful for this blog. It’s one of the major things that kept me sane during the colic time. It was my own thing. My place. The only thing I did regularly only because I liked it after the twins were born. Not because I had to. 

Every comment, like and follow have felt sooo good. I’m honestly grateful for every visit this blog gets. I have found some new friends. Someone I have already met in person. What could be better outcome from blogging?

Well anyways. Now our life is easy. The kids are happy. They are learning everyday, sleeping and eating well. No drama going on.

What do I do now?

I have noticed that with this easy life I don’t have to escape to this blog during the day. In the evening when I sit down to the computer I have no idea what to write. Sometimes I write something quickly but regret it after publishing and often I write nothing.

I’m in a new situation and I don’t know how to continue. Since I’m not as tired as I used to be I have started to do things that I used to do before twins came. I have spent my evenings, for example, crocheting.

I don’t know if this is the end of this blog or if I continue but the way of making it has to change. I need to figure out how and when and what I write in the future if I write. And I have to find time to read other blogs, participate and be a better community member.

Maybe a little hiatus will do good.

Or maybe I’ll publish some texts that I still have in the drafts. I’m not sure. But I just wanted to let you what’s going on.

Have a lovely week!

Mannamaria

To anyone expecting twins, part. 2

I wrote a post called “to anyone expecting twins” three months ago when the twins were three months old. Now when I read it, it makes me smile. I’ll write a new one here and probably smile at this one later on as well.

Kirjoitin tekstin “to anyone expecting twins” kolme kuukautta sitten, kun kaksoset olivat kolmen kuukauden ikäisiä. Sen lukeminen hymyilyttää nykyään. Kirjoittelen tähän uuden version ja todennäköisesti hymyilen tälle sitten taas myöhemmin.


People will ask lots of questions. But it’s not annoying unless you let it be. You will learn the best way that works for you to react to them. Some like to get sarcastic, some get annoyed and leave the situation quickly. I think that questions like “are they twins?” “can I take a look?” are more conversation openers than anything else. With only one child I usually opened conversation by asking “how old is your child?”. Asking if they’re twins is pretty much the same in my opinion.

This being said, there are uncomfortable situations that you should be prepared to react to. For example I don’t want any stranger to touch my small babies (with their dirty hands) and if anyone tries that they’ll get a strong reaction from me. With one baby no one ever tried to touch him!

And also one time a stranger took a photo of them without asking me. I was so shocked in that situation that she got away with it without me saying anything but next time I’ll be more alert and prepared.

Speaking of the next time.. the older the twins get, the less people pay attention to us. I went to a flea market the other with only my baby girl and no one stared at us. No stranger came to talk to us and I couldn’t hear any one talking about us. It felt strange and it reminded me that this period when people come to talk us and ask questions and tell their own twin stories that seem never ending, is very short. Let’s not waste time getting annoyed by it. I may even miss it soon.

Ihmiset kyselevät kysymyksiä. Mun mielestä se ei ole ärsyttävää, ellei sen anna olla. Jokainen oppii oman parhaan tapansa reagoida näihin kysymyksiin ja kommentteihin. Jotkut vastaa sarkastisesti ja toiset ärsyyntyneesti lähtien tilanteesta mahdollisimman pian. Itse ajattelen, että kysymykset kuten “onko ne kaksoset?” “Saanko katsoa?” on tarkoitettu enemmänkin keskustelun avaajiksi kuin miksikään muuksi. Silloin kun mulla oli vain yksi lapsi, avasin itse keskustelun usein kysymällä lapsen ikää. Jos joku kysyy kaksosuudesta, se on mun mielestä hyvin samantyyppinen tilanne.

Tämän sanottuani pitää todeta, että epämukaviakin tilanteita tulee ja niihin on hyvä miettiä oma suhtautumisensa etukäteen. En esimerkiksi halua kenenkään tuntemattoman ihmisen koskevan mun pieniin vauvoihin (likasilla käsillään) ja jos joku yrittää, reagoin kyllä nykyään voimakkaasti. Yhden vauvan kanssa kukaan ei yrittänyt koskea häntä!

Kerran myös tuntematon ihminen nappasi kuvan kaksosista kysymättä lupaa. Olin niin järkyttynyt siinä tilanteessa, etten osannut edes reagoida mutta seuraavalla kerralla olen kyllä valppaana.

Seuraavasta kerrasta puheenollen… mitä vanhemmaksi kaksoset tulevat, sitä vähemmän meihin kiinnitetään huomiota. Yhtenä päivänä kävin kirpparilla vain tyttövauva mukanani eikä kukaan tuijottanut meitä. Kukaan ei tullut juttelemaan enkä kuullut kenenkään puhuvan meistä. Se tuntui omituiselta ja muistin taas, että oikeastaan tämä aika kun ihmiset tulevat juttelemaan ja kertovat loputtomia kaksostarinoitaan on todella lyhyt. Ei siitä kannata ärsyyntyä. Sitä saattaa tulla pian jo ikävä.


You may easily feel inadequate with twins. Holding them and comforting them at the same time isn’t easy at least when they’re small babies. The other one has to wait his or her turn in many occasions and even if they say that twins will learn to wait for their turn, they learn it by crying out loud for good many times.

What really helped me during those moments was remembering that even if in that particular situation they had to wait (alone, poor little ones), they will have the other sibling closer to them than any singleton will ever have their sibling. And I don’t meant that singletons can’t be really close, of course they can have tight relations, but twins can have their sibling right next to them in the same group when they go to kindergarten or school or take other big steps on their life path. They’ll always have a friend who is going through the same age and phase at the same time.

So even if they have to wait alone little now and then because of the other sibling, they will have a huge support in each other later in life.

As small babies when they both wanted to be held at the same time, I sometimes put them in the same cot facing each other and they calmed down looking at each other. Now it doesn’t work any more since they grab at each other’s face or roll over and kick the other one to the head or bite the other one’s finger. It always ends up to a massive cry.

Kaksosten kanssa tulee helposti riittämätön olo. Niitä ei ole helppo pitää sylissä ja lohduttaa samaan aikaan. Toisen pitää odottaa vuoroaan usein ja vaikka sanotaan, että kaksoset oppivat odottamaan vuoroaan, he oppivat sen itkemällä monet kerrat lohduttomasti, kun sisarukselta vaihdettiin ensin vaippa tai toinen pääsi ensin syliin.

Se, mikä minua on auttanut noissa tilanteissa on itseni muistuttaminen siitä, että vaikka näissä tietyissä tilanteissa heidän pitää odottaa (yksinään, voi pienet), heillä on kuitenkin sisarus lähempänä kuin yksösillä ikinä voi olla. Enkä tarkoita nyt sitä, etteikö yksössisarukset voisi olla hyvin läheisiä, tottakai voivat, mutta kaksosilla on toisensa esimerkiksi kun he aloittavat päiväkodin tai koulun ihan siinä samassa ryhmässä. Heillä on aina lähellä ystävä, joka on juuri samanikäinen ja käy läpi samaa kehitysvaihetta.

Joten vaikka he joutuvat vauva-aikana odottamaan sisaruksensa takia toisinaan, on heillä toisissaan valtava tuki myöhemmin. Isossa kuvassa he varmaankin jäävät voitonpuolelle läheisyysasiassa, kun saavat sitä toisiltaan niin paljon.

Kun he olivat aivan pieniä vauvoja ja halusivat olla molemmat sylissä yhtä aikaa, hoksasin jossain vaiheessa laittaa ne pinnasänkyyn katselemaan toisiaan. He rauhoittuivat usein siinä köllötellessään. Enää se ei oikein toimi, koska he tarttuvat toisiaan naamasta, kääntyvät ympäri ja potkivat toisiaan päähän tai purevat vaikkapa sormesta. Yritykset päättyvät aina valtavaan parkuun.


Accept any help you can get. This one I wrote already on the previous post and I’m glad I realized it already when I wasn’t too tired. With a heavy fatigue I’m not sure if I would have had the strength to search possibilities of getting help from the city. We’ve had a nanny helping every week, and my mother in law has come monthly for a couple of days. Now we have a nurse student coming for a training period and we’ve had friends and family helping regularly.

I’m not going to say that we could not have made it without them. It’s insulting for anyone who doesn’t get help. We would have made it even without any help (and so will you if you have to) but boy am I glad we got it.

Don’t worry about messy home. Everyone will understand. Invite them in anyways.

Ota vastaan kaikki apu, mitä voit saada. Tämän kirjoitin jo viime postauksessa ja olen niin tyytyväinen, että ymmärsin tämän jo ennen kuin olin ihan loppuunväsynyt. Jäätävissä univeloissa en olisi jaksanut alkaa selvitellä, mistä voisi saada apua. Meillä on tosiaan ollut lastenhoitaja joka viikko, anoppi on käynyt muutaman päivän kuukausittain. Nyt on tulossa opiskelija harjoittelemaan ja lisäksi on ystäviä ja perheenjäseniä ollut apuna tarpeen mukaan.

En tahdo sanoa, etteikö oltaisi selvitty ilman apuakin. Se on loukkaavaa niitä kohtaa, jotka eivät apua saa. Oltaisiin varmasti selvitty (ja niin selvitä sinäkin jos täytyy) mutta oon mä kyllä kiitollinen kaikesta avusta mitä ollaan saatu.

Älä murehdi kodin siisteydestä. Kaikki ymmärtävät kyllä. Kutsu apu sisään jokatapauksessa.


I wish I could tell you more general advice for twin life but twins are usually as individual as singletons. Some sleep well, eat well and develop as they should, others have their challenges.

But here is something I’d like to say to you:

Don’t worry, it will go well,
You can do it  and
You are enough, just try your best.

Have a nice week!

Mannamaria

P.s These photos are from our date last week.

Osaisinpa kertoa muita yleisiä neuvoja kaksosarkeen mutta kaksoset ovat yhtä yksilöllisiä kuin yksösetkin. Toiset nukkuvat ja syövät hyvin sekä kehittyvät niin kuin pitää, toisilla on oman haasteensa.

Tämän haluaisin kuitenkin sanoa sinulle:

Älä huoli, hyvin se menee,
Selviät kyllä ja
Sinä riität, yritä vain parhaasi.

Mukavaa viikkoa!

Mannamaria

P.S. Kuvat ovat viime viikon treffeiltä.

Beautiful lake views

The theme of this week’s photo challenge is ‘satisfaction’. I went through my photos trying to see if there was something I would like to post here.

First thing that I came up with were findings from the flea market. I love flea markets! I go there often and make great findings quite often. The thing is, I never take photos of them. But maybe I should! 

I did find two scenes that I find extremely satisfying. The first is Finnish lake view. I don’t know why but I calm down instantly when looking at this view. My heart beat slows down, my mind stops racing and my muscles relax. I could stare at this for hours. The first photo is from our summer holiday trip to Ikaalinen. The second one is from near our home.



But I can’t leave out the view of a field either. Part of this satisfaction is also the silence. You can only hear the wind moving the crops but other than that it’s silent. No traffic, no nothing.


This is my contribution to the weekly photo challenge!

I’ll see you soon!

Mannamaria

Hi there

Here is a little introduction to myself and this blog. 🙂

I started this blog in January when I had too much time. I had been on sickness leave from work for a month and being on third trimester on my twin pregnancy there was not much to do. Or actually there would have been plenty to do but I was ordered to stay in bed so I couldn’t. And to be honest with my huge belly I could hardly get my socks on let alone do something more active.

I thought this would be a perfect way to spend my days. This was something I could do while resting. But after about a week from my first post the twins decided to arrive. After that I’ve had my hands full but I decided to continue blogging anyway.

At first I thought that this blog would be more about my children. Twins and the big brother. What they are doing, wearing and eating. But quite soon I realized that I don’t want to share too much of them. I don’t want to share pictures of their faces for example. So it’s becoming a blog where I share my thoughts and perspective on parenting and life in general. Of course my children will be a big part of it since I’m currently a stay-at-home mom. I also want to share our everyday life. I hope it’s interesting to you but I also want to document this baby year for myself. Because of my heavy fatigue I don’t think that I’ll remember much of it later.

I have different goals I wish to achieve with this blog. Since I’m a true list person I made a list of them:

  • Improve my writing skills. When I was a child I wrote a lot. I kept a journal regularly and had pen pals. I loved writing. But at latest in university I had so many assignments to write I didn’t want use my spare time writing so I stopped. And after uni I didn’t get back to it. But here we go.
  • Improve my English. It’s hard to maintain or improve your language skills if you don’t use the language. That’s one of the reasons for writing in English.
  • Be part of an international blogging community. That’s another reason why I write in English. I love to learn about different cultures and habits. But I also find it interesting how people around the world are the same. Their houses or clothing or whatever can be different but if you ask them for example to tell about their families they do it in an exact same way. It’s kinda intriguing.
  • Document this baby year. I told you why up there.
  • Maybe even find some new friends.

Couple of words about me..

As you know I’m a mother for twin babies and a three years old boy. We live in Helsinki suburbs. We also have a cat called Moona. When I’m behind my desk I shape legal information into seminars and eLearning programs but will stay at home with the kids for at least a year now.

I don’t know what else to tell you about me so maybe some random facts?

  • I’m left handed
  • Before buying this house I had always lived in apartments.
  • I have studied latin for four years.
  • I have traveled quite much but never been to Asia.
  • I’ve had a phobia of needles.
  • I would like to learn French.

Would you like to tell me something about yourself? I’d love to hear from you. 🙂

Mannamaria

 

Share your world

This week I heard about this challenge from Cee’s photography. It sounded like a lots of fun so I decided to take part.

When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?

I always use pen. I haven’t used pencil after graduating from the uni. But to be honest most often I use colorful stabilos and black finepens. 🙂

Would you rather be an amazing dancer or an amazing singer?

Singer! As a child I sang in a choir. I loved it but I was not very good. In a certain age I had to stop going there since they didn’t accept poor singing anymore. 😀

If you were on a debate team, what subject would you relish debating?

I’m horrible at debating. When debating you have to think fast and I’m not good at that. But in a debate that seems very black and white I’m good at pointing the other colors.

What are you a “natural” at doing?

Organizing and arranging. And being with kids.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

I’m grateful that we finally found a way to ease the baby’s stomach problems, that we got some rest, met lovely new people and found strength to do some fun holiday activities with the older boy.

I’m looking forward to having better weather, organizing a birthday party for the boy and having a nice party.

Thank you for this nice challenge!

Mannamaria

Playful bus

Does it sound like a translation error? It’s not actually.

So, I changed the name of the blog. I never liked the first name but couldn’t make up a better one. I decided to start the blog anyway and change the name later when I’d figure out one that I’d be happy with. I’m not sure if it was a good idea but here we are.

What is the Playful Bus? What does it mean? It was actually a prize that my son got when he finally let me cut his hair. He was very nervous about it and it took forever and ever for me trying to persuade him. Finally, he was courageous enough to let me do it and I gave him this bus. It’s not very fancy I have to admit but it’s very dear to him.

He started calling it the playful bus when he got it. I’m not sure what it means but I think it’s adorable. Maybe the bus likes to play with him? He likes to play with it? Or the bus is just being happy and playful? I’m not sure but I like it. To me, playful bus sounds very happy, joyful and childish. In a way, that’s also how I’m hoping that my blog will sound like.

Let me present the playful bus to you:

Incomplete

Even though I have planned this blog for months and months I haven’t really done much concrete things to build it up. I have gotten stuck in thinking about the name of the blog and the banner and how am I going to edit my photos and do I have enough topics to talk about. And am I good enough?

Now I finally decided to publish this blog even though I haven’t solved most of the mentioned issues. I hope that this blog will evolve with me during the following months. I can sometimes be a little pedantic but now I’m learning to let go and accept my incompleteness with this blog.

And now when I think about incompleteness… actually it is not only this blog where I’m trying to learn to accept that feature. I try to learn to accept incompleteness in life in general. Perfection is stressful, impossible and quite frankly – boring. So let’s keep the word incomplete and embrace it. It kind of has mercy in it. Getting better but not perfect. I like that.

Love,

Mannamaria

Olen suunnitellut tämän blogin perustamista pitkään. En ole kuitenkaan tehnyt oikein mitään konkreettista sen eteen. Jään aina jumiin, kun mietin blogin nimeä, banneria, osaanko editoida kuvani hyvin tai onko minulla tarpeeksi aiheita, joista kirjoittaa?

Päätin kuitenkin vihdoin julkaista blogin, vaikka suurin osa mainitsemistani asioista on vielä ratkaisematta. Toivottavasti tämä blogi kehittyy sisällön kanssa tulevien kuukausien aikana. Olen usein aika pedanttinen mutta toivottavasti tämä blogi opettaa minulle keskeneräisyyden sietämistä.

Keskeneräisyys… nyt kun ajattelen sitä niin tulee mieleen, että oikeastaan en yritä opetella sen sietämistä pelkästään tässä blogissa vaan myös elämässä yleensä. Täydellisyys on paitsi stressaavaa ja mahdotonta myös tylsää. Joten otetaan sana epätäydellinen. Siinä on armoa. Ajatusta paremmaksi tulemisesta mutta ei täydellisyyttä. Minä pidän siitä.

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