Hi there

Here is a little introduction to myself and this blog. 🙂

I started this blog in January when I had too much time. I had been on sickness leave from work for a month and being on third trimester on my twin pregnancy there was not much to do. Or actually there would have been plenty to do but I was ordered to stay in bed so I couldn’t. And to be honest with my huge belly I could hardly get my socks on let alone do something more active.

I thought this would be a perfect way to spend my days. This was something I could do while resting. But after about a week from my first post the twins decided to arrive. After that I’ve had my hands full but I decided to continue blogging anyway.

At first I thought that this blog would be more about my children. Twins and the big brother. What they are doing, wearing and eating. But quite soon I realized that I don’t want to share too much of them. I don’t want to share pictures of their faces for example. So it’s becoming a blog where I share my thoughts and perspective on parenting and life in general. Of course my children will be a big part of it since I’m currently a stay-at-home mom. I also want to share our everyday life. I hope it’s interesting to you but I also want to document this baby year for myself. Because of my heavy fatigue I don’t think that I’ll remember much of it later.

I have different goals I wish to achieve with this blog. Since I’m a true list person I made a list of them:

  • Improve my writing skills. When I was a child I wrote a lot. I kept a journal regularly and had pen pals. I loved writing. But at latest in university I had so many assignments to write I didn’t want use my spare time writing so I stopped. And after uni I didn’t get back to it. But here we go.
  • Improve my English. It’s hard to maintain or improve your language skills if you don’t use the language. That’s one of the reasons for writing in English.
  • Be part of an international blogging community. That’s another reason why I write in English. I love to learn about different cultures and habits. But I also find it interesting how people around the world are the same. Their houses or clothing or whatever can be different but if you ask them for example to tell about their families they do it in an exact same way. It’s kinda intriguing.
  • Document this baby year. I told you why up there.
  • Maybe even find some new friends.

Couple of words about me..

As you know I’m a mother for twin babies and a three years old boy. We live in Helsinki suburbs. We also have a cat called Moona. I work in a publishing company with legal information matters but will stay at home with the kids for at least a year now.

I don’t know what else to tell you about me so maybe some random facts?

  • I’m left handed
  • Before buying this house I had always lived in apartments.
  • I have studied latin for four years.
  • I have traveled quite much but never been to Asia.
  • I’ve had a phobia of needles.
  • I would like to learn French.

Would you like to tell me something about yourself? I’d love to hear from you. 🙂

Mannamaria

 

Have you ever heard of emotional hangover?

I actually thought I invented that term myself. 😀 emotional hangover. After a quick googling turned out that one form of social anxiety is often called emotional hangover or social hangover. (urban dictonary)

So here’s what happened this week..

After the boy’s birthday party I was happy. I wrote a blog post and told my husband that for once I felt good when thinking about that party. Everything had gone well. Everyone enjoyed themselves and I can easily forgive myself the little errors that happened. But the next day it hit me again.

Why did I serve those pastries that didn’t have enough filling? One cake was not moist enough and the paw patrol cake was ugly. The home made juice that I served for the kids was not good enough. Some people had to come to the kitchen to ask for more coffee and I didn’t notice immediately that coffee milk had finished. They must think that I’m a horrible host. I failed my son.

That really is how felt. Now it seems ridiculous. But I cried for two days over this.

It didn’t help that the boy seemed to love the party and kept talking about it in awe. That my husband said that guests did like the cakes and everything. He also said that no matter what they would have said I would have turned it into a negative. You know the “they didn’t really mean it” argument. At the end he said that I have been like this as long as he can remember. I didn’t understand. The boy turned three. We hadn’t had that many children’s parties. But…

We met when I was a freshman in the university. That year involved lots of student parties. Every time the morning after was horrible. Sometimes in a physical way but every time in an emotional way. Did I do something stupid? Did I say something stupid? They must have understood me wrong. Why did I have to say something to someone? Next time I’ll stay silent.

I started to stay more quiet. I stopped using alcohol. Friends started to talk behind my back and laugh at me about that. I started to hear rumors. What kind of freshman doesn’t drink and party? Someone even told me I was nicer when I was drunk. Eventually I stopped going to parties.

One character of phobia is that it affects your everyday life. Controls your choices.

Well, I didn’t go to student parties, I haven’t celebrated my birthdays (even when I turned 30), my graduations (I have two higher degrees) or had any house warming parties. I didn’t want to have a farewell party at work when I started my maternity leave. Actually, we even got married abroad and one reason was to avoid having a party. Avoid being the center of attention.

Now that I have kids I have to organize parties. I can’t get around it. And I do love it. That’s why this feels so contradictory. BEFORE the party I’m excited and happy and love the planning and doing part of it but AFTER the party I feel devastated. Even if all the guests are close friends and family members. Even if I told myself that if all my nightmares came true they still wouldn’t leave me.

What’s going on? Do I have some sort of party phobia? That would be a weird one. 😀 Now that I finally noticed this pattern I have to start working with it. I don’t know how yet but I’ll figure out something.

If anyone has experienced anything like this or has any tips, I would be happy to hear them!

Mannamaria

You are enough

I feel like the universe is giving me a pep talk this week. 🙂

I ordered something from a web store. As a gift they sent me this notebook. Another important reminder.

You are enough. 

Have a nice day!

Mannamaria



  This notebook is designed by LuKLabel (no affiliate link, just a cool webshop)

Be kind. Always.

You know the quote “everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” I have been thinking about it a lot for the past days.

Last week I was tired. Very tired. I hardly left the house for many days. I was happy about the Easter holidays and getting the husband home for a couple of days.

It was weird since the crying of our baby boy (that story here) had stopped many days before and our evenings were calmer than in a long time. It felt a little like the calmer evenings welcomed the tiredness. I was exhausted.

Anyway on the Easter Sunday I went for a walk by myself. In the shopping center all stores were open (weird!) but this time I went there only to get some homeopatic medicine. When I was leaving the store the salesperson said “hang in there, soon it will get easier”. I nearly burst into tears. I really needed to hear that. I wanted to give her a hug. How nice of her!

Then I went to try a new restaurant nearby. They were having a Sunday brunch but since I was alone I asked for just a cup of coffee. “This one is on the house” said the waiter as he brought the coffee to me. He really made me smile. Thank you for being so nice to me! That was probably the first time ever I’ve got something for free here in Finland. People just don’t do it.

Those two persons really changed my whole mood. They were kind in a moment when I really needed it even if they didn’t know it and they didn’t have to. I’m grateful for them. I have to remember being kind myself even more in the future.

After that I noticed that the sun was shining, the babies didn’t cry but babbled and we left for a nice family gathering.

I’ve been smiling ever since.

Have a lovely week!

Mannamaria

20 questions

I saw this questionnaire in one of my favorite blogs: Start living your best life. I thought it was a nice way to share something personal. 🙂

My name is… Mannamaria is a nickname that my Italian family used when I lived with them. I liked it and it has stayed with me ever since.

Some people call me… I really don’t have nicknames other than this. When I was a child I envied people with many nicknames. Now I’m ok with it. 🙂

I was born in… Helsinki mid 80’s.

When I grow up I wanted to be… a teacher or a hairstylist. Every girl in my class wanted to be a hairstylist. 🙂

My best 3 characters are… living in a moment, being able to find the positive in nearly any situation and working hard for my goals.

My near future plans involve… sleeping as much as possible.

My favorite city is… Rome. New York. Stockholm. Paris. Helsinki. I really can’t decide. Every one of them for different reasons.

My favorite song at the moment is… I haven’t listened to radio or my music for months! I keep singing Paw Patrol and Postman Pat theme songs all day long… 😀

My favorite restaurant and meal there are… I like exploring new restaurants and to be honest I don’t have a restaurant that I would always end up going back to. In Helsinki there is a place called Juuri where I have been many times and would take my foreign guests to. Their sapas’ (Finnish tapas) are amazing. But I haven’t been there now for over a year.

My favorite drink is… soda water and from drinks with alcohol it’s champagne!

My favorite TV-show right now is… I don’t have time to watch tv but couple of months ago we watched The Crown from Netflix and I really liked it.

My favorite cosmetics products at the moment are… Lumene’s Time Freeze skincare products.

The favorite app in my phone is… WhatsApp

What do you pack when you travel? An insane amount of things for the kids and a little backpack for me and the husband.

What do you do at home when no one can see you? Use my yogaia app. I’m terrible at yoga.

Your latest interior decoration purchase… We bought a new TV last week. Is that interior decoration? At least it’s in a very visible place in our living room.

Your latest Whatsapp-message? A heart and a thumb up from the husband. 🙂

Best way to spend 50 euros? At the moment I would spend it on some spa treatment.

My bravura in the kitchen? I’m good at making pasta and all sorts of salty pies.

For a friday night feast I buy..? Pizza and chocolate!

This is me! Have a lovely week!

Mannamaria

Spring delights

To balance yesterday’s negativity I wanted to share with you some spring delights that bring me joy and happiness at this moment.

Here is a list of things I love this season:

  • It’s sunny. The weather has been sunny for a while and gives me so much energy! Now it’s lovely to hang out at the playground with the boy. He loves to play outside in every weather but I like it more like this.
  • It’s warm. Ok, it’s not THAT warm but it’s warmer than a month ago. And the snow is gone. Hopefully we don’t see more snow before summer. The boy would love it though!
  • The first flowers are blooming. And the garden is waking up after winter. Soon I can harvest the first rhubarbs!
  • Tulips. Tulip season is almost over but you can still find some beautiful colorful bouquets. One of the reasons I love the tulip season is that I feel like it’s one of the first signs of spring.
  • It’s bright. One of the good things about summer in Finland is that it’s bright nearly 24 hours a day. Today the sun sets at 8:17 p.m. (I checked the exact time!) and it’s getting brighter every day. The boy is confused about bedtime though and every evening I hear an argument “it’s not dark yet hence I don’t have to go to bed”.
  • Summer planning. Almost as fun as the summer itself is spring when you can plan all kinds of activities and holiday plans for the summer. This year we will probably spend the summer in Finland (maybe visit Estonia or Latvia) and save a trip abroad for autumn. Maybe a trip to the Moomin world this summer?
  • Happy people. After the long, dark and cold winter it’s always nice to see the change in Finnish people. During the winter people seem very serious and busy trying to avoid any contact to other people. On spring it seems like someone lifted a weight of their shoulders and they open up, start smiling, talking and walking a bit lighter.

That’s it for now! Have a lovely day!

Mannamaria

Unnecessary whining

I hate whining for things that can’t be changed (like weather), things that you don’t even want to change (like having small babies) or small details (that are not worth whining for). Whining takes a lot of energy and creates negativity. I want to avoid it.

I always try to find the positive in every situation as you can see in this post. See how I’m explaining myself? I find it hard to admit but today I kept whining about very silly things. Quite easily I found the downward spiral where nothing seemed right.

I was whining about the weather that is still very cold, the rhythms of the babies though I know they don’t really have a proper daily rhythm yet. I was unhappy with something that was done at the daycare and even the coffee seemed colder than normally.

It wore me out. The more I nagged the worse I felt and I also found more and more things that weren’t right. As if there was only piles of laundry, cold lunch and continuous crying (on babies’ behalf) left.

When my husband came home and I started nagging to him about something, he kindly pushed me out of the door for a walk.

It was sunny and it was warm. I breathed in and out and walked to a local flea market. I found many nice things. I talked with the very kind owner of the place. I walked back home and found the family doing whatever they were doing.

I was ashamed. It did good to get out of the house for a little while. I should have done something to stop this behavior earlier. I wasted hours to this negativity.

I really wouldn’t change anything in my current family life, I cannot change the weather and other things are really small enough details that none of them is worth wasting negative energy for. If there is something I will try to learn from this day it’s trying to stop it before it gets too bad and not to swell in it.

What do you think about complaining about weather and other things? Does it bother you?

Have a beautiful day!

Mannamaria