Some days it’s hard to stay positive

When looking out of the window you see this


Or this


when it’s mid-May. Everyone is talking about the weather. Even the meteorologist burst out laughing when talking about the weather (clip with English subtitles). These pictures are from earlier this week.

The only person I know who is not horrified by this weather is my son. That snowy day I went to pick him up from daycare and told him we couldn’t go to the playground. He looked at me with puzzled face and asked “why?”. I told him that it’s cold and we have to go home. He asked if there are no toys at the playground and I said yes there is but there are no children. That puzzled face asked me again “why?”.

I wish I could be more like him. Not whining about something I can’t change but taking it as it is and making the most of it. Dressing up appropriately and going to the playground.

Luckily the sun is shining again and it’s getting warmer but this weather whining is something I fell too often to. I have to do something about it.

Do you complain about things you can’t change? Does it bother you?

Mannamaria

Relaxing me time – my tips

I told you about the difficulty of relaxing previously on this post. After that I’ve become better at this. It’s not that difficult for me anymore and that’s why I wanted to share some tips with you.

Today I had some me time and decided to head to Helsinki center to spend it. We live in the suburbs and I find it easier to relax when I go little further away from home. And I love Helsinki. One day I’ll write an ode to Helsinki. It’s such a beautiful city (in my opinion). 🙂

This time I only wandered around. Stopped somewhere to sit in the sun and look at people. Did some shopping. Had lunch at my favorite Café. It was finally warm enough to eat outside.

It’s somehow easier to breathe when it’s warm. Relax your shoulders and walk a little slower. I don’t have words to start describing how happy I am that it’s finally warm. I waited for this for too long.

I didn’t do much but it was a beautiful and relaxing day.

The nanny asked me in the morning if I had any special wishes for her last day with us. I asked for cinnamon rolls.

It was great to come to a cleaned home that smelled like cinnamon. For the last time with her.

Here are my tips for relaxing me time:

  • Try to get the time regularly. Set the dates weeks or even months beforehand. It really helps when you don’t have to keep asking for help all the time.
  • Leave your kids with someone you trust.
  • Lower your standards. It doesn’t matter if the babysitter has different rules or if she does things differently than you. When it comes to raising kids it’s the big picture that matters.
  • Plan beforehand what you are going to do. So you don’t spend your me time planning but be ready to change your plan.
  • Don’t make too tight schedule.
  • Make a mental list of things you would do like to do. If the possibility to spend some me time comes unexpectedly you can pick something to do quickly.
  • Sometimes it’s good to spend your me time resting, sometimes taking care of chores and sometimes doing things that you love.

When you have me time regularly you can do it all.

Have a lovely weekend!

Mannamaria

Have you ever heard of emotional hangover?

I actually thought I invented that term myself. 😀 emotional hangover. After a quick googling turned out that one form of social anxiety is often called emotional hangover or social hangover. (urban dictonary)

So here’s what happened this week..

After the boy’s birthday party I was happy. I wrote a blog post and told my husband that for once I felt good when thinking about that party. Everything had gone well. Everyone enjoyed themselves and I can easily forgive myself the little errors that happened. But the next day it hit me again.

Why did I serve those pastries that didn’t have enough filling? One cake was not moist enough and the paw patrol cake was ugly. The home made juice that I served for the kids was not good enough. Some people had to come to the kitchen to ask for more coffee and I didn’t notice immediately that coffee milk had finished. They must think that I’m a horrible host. I failed my son.

That really is how felt. Now it seems ridiculous. But I cried for two days over this.

It didn’t help that the boy seemed to love the party and kept talking about it in awe. That my husband said that guests did like the cakes and everything. He also said that no matter what they would have said I would have turned it into a negative. You know the “they didn’t really mean it” argument. At the end he said that I have been like this as long as he can remember. I didn’t understand. The boy turned three. We hadn’t had that many children’s parties. But…

We met when I was a freshman in the university. That year involved lots of student parties. Every time the morning after was horrible. Sometimes in a physical way but every time in an emotional way. Did I do something stupid? Did I say something stupid? They must have understood me wrong. Why did I have to say something to someone? Next time I’ll stay silent.

I started to stay more quiet. I stopped using alcohol. Friends started to talk behind my back and laugh at me about that. I started to hear rumors. What kind of freshman doesn’t drink and party? Someone even told me I was nicer when I was drunk. Eventually I stopped going to parties.

One character of phobia is that it affects your everyday life. Controls your choices.

Well, I didn’t go to student parties, I haven’t celebrated my birthdays (even when I turned 30), my graduations (I have two higher degrees) or had any house warming parties. I didn’t want to have a farewell party at work when I started my maternity leave. Actually, we even got married abroad and one reason was to avoid having a party. Avoid being the center of attention.

Now that I have kids I have to organize parties. I can’t get around it. And I do love it. That’s why this feels so contradictory. BEFORE the party I’m excited and happy and love the planning and doing part of it but AFTER the party I feel devastated. Even if all the guests are close friends and family members. Even if I told myself that if all my nightmares came true they still wouldn’t leave me.

What’s going on? Do I have some sort of party phobia? That would be a weird one. 😀 Now that I finally noticed this pattern I have to start working with it. I don’t know how yet but I’ll figure out something.

If anyone has experienced anything like this or has any tips, I would be happy to hear them!

Mannamaria

You are enough

I feel like the universe is giving me a pep talk this week. 🙂

I ordered something from a web store. As a gift they sent me this notebook. Another important reminder.

You are enough. 

Have a nice day!

Mannamaria



  This notebook is designed by LuKLabel (no affiliate link, just a cool webshop)

Share your world

This week I heard about this challenge from Cee’s photography. It sounded like a lots of fun so I decided to take part.

When writing by hand do you prefer to use a pencil or pen?

I always use pen. I haven’t used pencil after graduating from the uni. But to be honest most often I use colorful stabilos and black finepens. 🙂

Would you rather be an amazing dancer or an amazing singer?

Singer! As a child I sang in a choir. I loved it but I was not very good. In a certain age I had to stop going there since they didn’t accept poor singing anymore. 😀

If you were on a debate team, what subject would you relish debating?

I’m horrible at debating. When debating you have to think fast and I’m not good at that. But in a debate that seems very black and white I’m good at pointing the other colors.

What are you a “natural” at doing?

Organizing and arranging. And being with kids.

Optional Bonus question:  What are you grateful for from last week, and what are you looking forward to in the week coming up? 

I’m grateful that we finally found a way to ease the baby’s stomach problems, that we got some rest, met lovely new people and found strength to do some fun holiday activities with the older boy.

I’m looking forward to having better weather, organizing a birthday party for the boy and having a nice party.

Thank you for this nice challenge!

Mannamaria

Be kind. Always.

You know the quote “everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always.” I have been thinking about it a lot for the past days.

Last week I was tired. Very tired. I hardly left the house for many days. I was happy about the Easter holidays and getting the husband home for a couple of days.

It was weird since the crying of our baby boy (that story here) had stopped many days before and our evenings were calmer than in a long time. It felt a little like the calmer evenings welcomed the tiredness. I was exhausted.

Anyway on the Easter Sunday I went for a walk by myself. In the shopping center all stores were open (weird!) but this time I went there only to get some homeopatic medicine. When I was leaving the store the salesperson said “hang in there, soon it will get easier”. I nearly burst into tears. I really needed to hear that. I wanted to give her a hug. How nice of her!

Then I went to try a new restaurant nearby. They were having a Sunday brunch but since I was alone I asked for just a cup of coffee. “This one is on the house” said the waiter as he brought the coffee to me. He really made me smile. Thank you for being so nice to me! That was probably the first time ever I’ve got something for free here in Finland. People just don’t do it.

Those two persons really changed my whole mood. They were kind in a moment when I really needed it even if they didn’t know it and they didn’t have to. I’m grateful for them. I have to remember being kind myself even more in the future.

After that I noticed that the sun was shining, the babies didn’t cry but babbled and we left for a nice family gathering.

I’ve been smiling ever since.

Have a lovely week!

Mannamaria

A wonderful surprise

There I lied in the doctor’s office.

“Are you sure?”

“We have to wait until week 12 to see if they both make it but at the moment I can see two heart beats.”

It was midsummer 2016. A sunny and a beautiful day. I had gone to the doctor’s to hear the bad news. To hear that I had miscarried. Again.  All the symptoms referred to that.

I had wanted to face the news by myself so after the shocking news I quickly messaged the husband: “everything ok x2”.

“Good”

“Oh wait”

“X2?”

“Twins????”

“Yes!”

“Omg”

“Omgomgomg”

“We have to buy a bigger car!”

Not even in our wildest dreams had we believed that we could have twins. I had said it out loud though. That I would like to have twins. And now my husband could say you should be careful with what you wish for. It really can come true.

After the doctor’s we met with the husband at a restaurant. We kept spluttering and could not have a real conversation. We just kept repeating phrases like “is this really happening?”, “how is this possible?”, “we need to buy so much stuff”, “we really need a bigger car” and “ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod”.

Thinking back that day I’m smiling. We were excited and terrified. Happy and nervous. Already planning the life with them but at the same time worried that we might lose the other one or both of them.

And here they are. Three months old. Our bundles of joy. Wonderful  surprises.

Mannamaria

For a weekly photo challenge.